Spending the Holidays at a Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center for Teens
By Meghan Vivo
When families send their troubled teens to a therapeutic boarding school or residential treatment center during the holiday season, parents feel a lot of guilt and teens feel a lot of anger. But for the sake of teens’ safety and a peaceful, enjoyable holiday for the rest of the family, spending one winter away from home is often the best way to ensure that future holidays are full of joy and cheer for all.
Keeping Teens Safe
“The most important thing is the teens are safe,” said Brandon Burr, LCSW, the clinical director at Aspen Ranch, an adolescent residential treatment center in Utah. “They won’t be ruining the family’s Christmas, getting drunk on New Year’s Eve or getting in trouble with the law.”
Even though it is common for teens to make promises that this year will be different, and parents try year after year to get through the holidays before enrolling their child in a therapeutic program, most teens don’t change their behavior just because it’s a special occasion.
“Danger exists year-round, whether it’s a birthday, New Year’s Eve, Christmas day, Hanukkah or any other day,” said Marty Ormond, a program director at Turn-About Ranch, a residential treatment center for teens on a working horse and cattle ranch in southern Utah. “No matter what time of year it is, if a child is engaging in risky behaviors, every moment parents wait is another moment something bad could happen.”
Being away from home around the holidays can be the positive wake-up call some teens need to make changes in their lives. Therapeutic boarding schools and residential treatment centers give adolescents the opportunity to step back and re-evaluate their decisions, learn new skills and rebuild family relationships.
“We have a saying, ‘If nothing changes, nothing changes.’ Without an intervention, it is likely that families will be in the same situation this year as last year,” said Burr.
Making the Holidays Memorable
At some therapeutic boarding schools and residential treatment centers, teens are more than safe – they are enjoying one of the most memorable and meaningful holidays of their young lives.
“For many teens, being on the ranch in winter is the first time they’ve seen snow on Christmas morning,” said Ormond. “Last year, all of the students were commenting on what a memorable holiday it was.”
At Aspen Ranch, teens are treated to a traditional turkey dinner served by staff and their families. In addition to their “family” at school, students have a phone call with their parents and open gifts their parents mailed to them.
At Turn-About Ranch, every staff member spends time with the students on one of the major winter holidays. So even though the students aren’t spending the holidays with family, they still know they are cared for.
Remembering the Spirit of the Season
In an effort to help teens remember the true meaning of the holidays and to instill a spirit of giving, the staff and students at Turn-About Ranch shovel sidewalks for the elderly, sing carols in the community and find other ways to give to those in need.
“Rather than feeling sorry for themselves, thinking about how they’re missing out by being away from home and not getting the presents they wanted, our students take this time to focus on being thankful for what they do have,” said Ormond. “Gratitude is part of the Turn-About philosophy. We tell the students that life deals us 10 percent, and the other 90 percent is what we choose to do with it.”
New Leaf Academy of Oregon, a therapeutic boarding school for girls ages 10 to 14, also works to create a festive holiday environment for its students. Not only are parents encouraged to visit their daughter over the holidays, but students also participate in special holiday activities such as caroling, decorating, baking cookies, creating hand-made gifts for their families and exchanging gifts with fellow students. Students also volunteer their time at local organizations and charities.
Being away for the holidays may be tough, but being home for another failed holiday may be even worse. “During this season of hope, families need to know there’s hope for them, too,” said Robbi O'Kelley, MSW, LCSW, CADCII, the executive director of New Leaf Academy of Oregon. “Everyone will be better off when they know things will be different next year.”
