We've Tried Everything - Can a Therapeutic Boarding School Help?

By Jane St. Clair

Twelve-year-old Kevin has been struggling all his life with severe problems in communication, social interactions, and impulse control. His parents have gone from doctor to doctor, and each one has a different diagnosis: bipolar disorder, Asperger Syndrome, attention deficit disorder, and so forth. 

Kevin’s mother quit working when Kevin was only a preschooler. Much of her day is spent transporting Kevin to his various therapists and psychologists. Over the years, she and her husband have tried many different approaches including gluten-free diets, sensory integration rooms, magnetic bracelets, and more. Every new approach, like every new medication, seems to help for a while and then stops working.

Kevin’s therapists keep demanding more from the family – everyone is supposed to be consistent in how they act toward Kevin. Kevin must have regular hours for meals, outdoor play, and therapy. They should work with him on dressing himself, personal hygiene, and table manners.  Kevin’s protocol takes away from sibling time and from his parents’ marriage. Everything is a struggle with this child – getting him to bathe, change his clothes, limit computer games – even to get up in the morning.

Kevin has never made friends at school; in fact, the other children consider him “odd” because of his behaviors. Now that he is in middle school, he is doing even worse academically and socially because he has to deal with several different teachers and classrooms. Kevin’s parents simply don’t know what to do next.

The Benefits of Boarding Schools
 
Children with behavioral and emotional problems can literally take over their families, and yet their progress can be extremely slow. Doctors, therapists, and teachers want the family to follow strict rules and guidelines, and then blame parents if the child backslides. Meanwhile, the child seems unhappy no matter what the family does.
 
Sometimes these kids can benefit from even a short stay at a therapeutic boarding school. At these schools, children live with professionals who work with them on a 24-hour basis. They do not have the emotional overlay that parents have with the child, and therefore, can be more objective and more consistent in fulfilling all the necessary directives to keep him on task.

Private boarding schools are set up with strict daily routines, even on weekends. Since all children in a certain age group have to get up at a specific time, change their clothes, bathe, limit television viewing, and eat in a mannerly fashion together, these rituals become less of a struggle. 

The academic component is designed for children with behavioral and emotional issues and those with learning disabilities. For example, a child with attention deficit disorder may have trouble organizing complicated tasks, such as writing a term paper, into a series of steps. A child without ADD understands that she has to go to the library, take notes, and then cull her notes into a paper. At a specialized school, the teacher knows how to help the child with ADD break tasks down into manageable steps. The school will probably use specialized software programs to help teens with ADD organize their work.

Parents are usually asked to monitor the food intake of a child with an eating disorder, make sure she does not purge through vomiting or over-exercise, and weigh the child every day. This turns them into wardens, not parents. Professionals can carry out medical instructions in a matter-of-fact way, while also providing daily psychotherapy to help teens overcome their disorders.
 
A child with Asperger Syndrome often has a high IQ, but has to learn consciously what other children pick up naturally, such as how to read body language, how to avoid hurting the feelings of others, and the necessity of good personal hygiene. These are among the hardest things to teach. At specialized boarding schools, professionals work with students on a regular basis, and have the tools and expertise to help teens with Asperger’s learn to read emotions and behave appropriately in social situations.

Many teens can make the same progress in one or two semesters of intense 24-hour intervention at a therapeutic boarding school that would take several years at home. During the follow-up period, the school staff works with parents and siblings to maintain and further the child’s progress once he returns home.

Sending your child to boarding school provides a much needed breather for all family members, who are often burned out after years of working with a child with special needs. Even stepping away just for a few months provides needed perspective and a fresh start.